you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize