Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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