Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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