dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
