I've blown a few things in my day
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
