It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
