Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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