Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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