once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
