and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
