I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
