nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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