so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
sex in a hospital.. check
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
