I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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