Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
