you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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