You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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