Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
