we're blogging at a bar
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
