He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
