I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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