Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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