if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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