God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
