all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm always down for nudity.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize