is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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