ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I need to calm my uterus...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
