So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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