Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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