stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
