Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
