his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
