Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
