Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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