You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
