I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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