She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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