Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I need to align my fucking chakras
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
