hotel room ftw
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
