xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
