Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
