I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
