Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
