i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
