what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
