fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Randomize
