I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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