We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He did a backflip because drugs
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