Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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