Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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