My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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