yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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