if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
