Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
