my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
