"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
