You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
