"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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