its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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