Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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