Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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