You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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